Photo by Sherise VD on Unsplash

“Your shit is a mess”.

What a line.

How would you feel if someone said that to you? Especially if it was someone you cared deeply about.

It would hurt.

You might get offended.

You might snap back at them in defense of yourself.

You might stare silently at them in shocking disbelief. (I mean, like, how could they!)

Or you might realize that the cold water they threw in your face felt shocking because it’s true. And you might then admit to yourself . . .

My shit is a mess”.

Five Empowering Words

Those five words are my favorite movie line takeaways of 2020. The movie, “Definitely Maybe”, is a 2008 rom-com that somehow made the Netflix 2020 playlist. And I’m so glad it caught my scrolling attention because it is a line of epic proportions . . . if you hear it realistically.

Your Life Doesn’t Have to be a Shit Show

There’s no escaping the fact that 2020 was an unprecedented year of unexpected and continuous chaos. My sincere sympathies go out to anyone who suffered loss of loved ones from covid.

When the pandemic hit and the world Zoomed forward to work, play and learn, I scaled back. I clammed up. Shut down my thoughts. Took a breather and whispered, what the heck just happened! And what do I do about it?

I took some time to clear my physical and mental space, which opened up creative opportunity in my professional space. Yes, I stumbled. No, I didn’t pull off everything I was hoping to pull off. I still have much to do. But I tried to stay focused on:

  • “reassessing” — everything I could no longer do due to the changes the pandemic presented;
  • “restructuring” — figuring out new ways to do things and determining if some things should simply end; and
  • “recalibrating” — because, ya, I was as exhausted as everyone else.

I allowed myself to feel the shock and be honest with myself. I took time to figure out where my shit was a mess. And when I did, it was an amazing revelation. I may not get the Emmy for my daily performance, but I definitely get an A for effort. And I’m okay with that because to me, effort matters.

Back to the Shit Show

We the people of planet earth can be pretty hard on ourselves. We compare ourselves to others. We lose confidence in our goals because we go from feeling excited to feeling like everyone else’s pursuits are cooler than ours. We tell ourselves we’ve failed instead of looking at things as lessons.

We really don’t need critics. We are our worst.

Don’t beat yourself up but don’t live in denial. If you dare to not live in denial, then you realize that somewhere in your life your shit is a mess. Don’t host a pity party, though, just join the ranks. We’re all a mess.

Even when we’re on our game and working diligently at our goals, sometimes things don’t happen as we’d like. And that’s okay, too. Again, no pity party, please. Instead, stop and take a look at where you are in that goal and ask yourself: am I really working strategically on my goal or am I all over the place? Am I busy but not really productive? Am I creating a (insert goal) or am I creating the dream of one?

If your stomach cringed reading this then guess what?

Your shit is a mess . . . somewhere.

Admit it.

Figure out where.

Then use those five words to enlighten and empower you.

Writer, Podcaster, Millennial Life & Confidence Coach.